Thursday, April 17, 2008

Our Government at Work

Following is a letter written by my nephew, Mark, as an answer to the letter he received from the State of Idaho which follows Mark's reply. I'm happy the State is on top of this crucial issue facing the people they represent. This kind of diligence give credence to the reason removing tax from the people's food bills is so far down on the list of important issues to resolve in this State. Please, pass this on to your family, friends and neighbors who are always asking, "What the hell do they DO in those agencies?"...................................................

Subject: State of Idaho vs. Skidmark

The year was 1992 when I tumbled down the inlet side of Redfish Lake near Stanley Idaho while on a 6 hour mountain bike ride. My fellow mountain bikers where very supportive during the initial incident and provided much needed first aid. They also helped repair my bike enough to ride the remaining two hours back to our camp site. Many checks were eventually written for professional medical care and antibiotics over the several weeks.

Once back safely to our camp site, we proceeded to BBQ all forms of meat products available while drinking lots of carbohydrates. This was necessary due to the extremely strenuous ride and because we like to drink beer and eat.

It was during the drinking portion of the event that my fellow riders began experimenting with new nick names for me related to my crash. Lots of names where proposed and discarded until the name "Skid" came up. As soon as some fool figured out that adding my name to the back of "Skid" struck them funny, the new moniker SKIDMARK was cemented. The fact that the word 'skidmark" had a double meaning related to tire tracks left on pavement was purely coincidental. See NASCAR.

My wife (bless her heart) was so enamored by the event and my new nick name she bought me personalized license plates. I have been using these plates for 15 years as a symbol of my wife's love for me.

I have been informed by the State of Idaho that after 15 years of use, my personalized license plates reading SKIDMRK have been deemed offensive. I have been notified by letter that I have until March 31st to petition the government for formal review or relinquish my license plate. According to the letter: "The plate "SKIDMRK" has a double meaning which the department has deemed to be inappropriate for display on an Idaho issued license plate." The government further clarifies it assessment of said double meaning. I won't share that with you as I was offended. I had no idea.

I apologize if I have ever offended you while following me out to the parking lot.

humbly yours,

******************************************************** matter how I try, I can't seem to get the letter from the State to upload into this blog, therefore, I will simply type the sentence the government clarified as the "double meaning" Mark mentions above as having offended him. With all of the thought and attention that went into the letter sent by the State, it is only right that I quote the entire paragraph.

It is as follows: Land Of The Free

"The Idaho Department of Transportation recently performed an audit of personalized license plates which have been issued to Idaho vehicles. The plate "SKIDMRK" has a double meaning which the department has deemed to be inappropriate for display on the Idaho issued license plate. The words "Skid Mark" are also considered slang terminology for fecal traces in a persons underwear."

I'm surprised Mark didn't learn this double meaning while serving in the military. Oh yeah, he has remained in the reserves for well over twenty years, ready to go defend our freedoms any time he is called up......even the freedom of the State to be ridiculous at times. Life is indeed interesting. Good Night and sleep tight!


Michelle said...

OMG!! LOL!!! I can't beleive it! This is hilarious!!! Who are we paying to come up with such brilliant information???

Maisie said...

Great work.