After a wonderful night's sleep on Saturday, MaryH and I got up to one of Bill's great breakfasts. Normally he cooks bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast; always Falls Brand bacon (the best anywhere) and the eggs and hash browns cooked to perfection. This fine Sunday morning we got home made biscuits and real (no mixes) sausage gravy along with the perfectly cooked eggs. It was delish! After lingering over coffee, freshly ground, and visiting for a while, MaryH headed for a quick shower so that I could give her a hair cut before it was my turn to perform my morning miracle on myself.
We finished dressing and headed for the Mall. I had to get the undies and socks, remember and thanks to an honest business owner, I had some cash burning a hole in my psyche, begging to be spent. We found a spot close to Penny's, went inside the Mall ready to spend a few hours. I was also looking for a dress for upcoming wedding of my Grandson so that's where we started.
The selection was plentiful and there were some that piqued my interest a little but I didn't want to make a rush decision, so we decided to look further, in other shops and department stores throughout the Mall.
I searched and looked and tried on at least 50 different dresses, learning that somewhere in time I must have become twice what I used to be, size-wise, that is. Me and thousands of other women, 'cuz the size I apparently needed was few and far between. After hours of this torture to my guilt button, and lying about how "cute" everything was, I cried out in frustration to MaryH. "Why is everything so damn butt ugly and made to fit a ten year old?" Mary H said, "Oh, I'm so glad you said that because I've been thinking the same thing. They are butt ugly!" Someone aught to find the makers of these atrocities and slap the shit out of them. What an insult to the women of the world; at least those of us who aren't kazillionaires and can have beautiful custom made clothes. I still don't have anything to wear to the wedding, damn it!
With that futile search ended, we went to CinnaBon and ordered two cinnamon rolls and 2 cokes. $11.00!!!! WTF?
While sitting there, MaryH realized she had left her cell phone in one of the numerous shops we had been to, so having tired feet and feeling cranky from our fruitless search for the perfect look, I suggested she trace back, starting at Macy's, while I went to Penny's to get the socks and undies, where she would meet up with me. The Columbia Mall in Kennewick is like a big spider with hallways going this way and that, so Mary pointed me toward JCP while she turned and went the opposite direction. I walked one long hallway and had to stop to have a "local" point me in the right direction again. So I followed his directions, turning this way and that way. On the last 'that' way, I spotted Y'S on a sign and headed that direction, which led me into the Men's department, just where I wanted to be. Yeah! Knowing Mary might be a while, I lingered through the department looking for the Gold Toes and underwear, touching, feeling and examining the virtues of each very carefully before making my final decision. MH hadn't shown up yet and I was beginning to look suspicious to the sales people, so I decided to go ahead and check out and wait in the openness of the hall until she arrived. The young man rang up my purchase and asked if I wanted to use my Macy's card. I said "No, I'm in Penny's aren't I? I instantly thought, "No wonder this stuff is so damned pricey." I was embarrassed but we both laughed at the fact that I had no clue where the hell I was.
I hurried out into the main hallway thinking MH must be tired of waiting for me, wondering where the hell I was, so I tried to call her on her cell phone as I rushed toward the Penny's sign I finally spotted, not knowing for sure whether she had even found her phone yet. To make matters worse, I had a brand new phone myself and could barely figure out how to turn it on. I was cursing myself for buying a new phone, which I did not need, just because it is Emerald green, let alone obligating me to another two year contract, when it finally rang through, only to have me cut off the call (????) as she answered. Luckily, as I neared the entrance to JCP, she spotted me. I had to confess about my wrong turn into PenAcy's, which gave her a good belly laugh.
I had to go to the lingerie department for myself to get some new bras so as we headed up the escalator, MH told me that she had stepped outside to have a smoke and there happened to be one of the sales clerks doing the same thing, so they struck up a conversation, during which MH BS'd herself into a part-time job. (The JCP clerk happened to be a Supervisor) I got my socks, skivvies and bras and MH got a job. The day was not a total loss.
Oh, we did have to go back to MH's and do the on-line application process which include a Reid survey and background check. That took about twenty minutes and the next day she got a call for the official interview and was hired at $1 an hour over the starting wage.
Yes, indeed. Life is mostly good except for the fact that I will probably have to go to the wedding nekkid. What a scary thought!!